Part Three

     The second and most obvious benefit of understanding the term insanity is to better understand the big book. This helps us to better understand and work the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is especially true of steps one, two and three. In better working the steps the likelihood of our recovery increased and the quality of our recovery is enhanced.

     While it is beyond the scope of this paper to go into a detailed analysis of working the steps a few comments are pertinent because they are directly connected to "insanity."

     The table below shows steps 1 through 3 in their most elementary form. Following the table we will show how our knowledge of "insanity" helps us understand and work these steps.

     In step three we are required to make a choice between step one and step two. This is the same as making a choice between our powerless condition over alcohol and accepting a power greater than ourselves which will solve our problem. It is a choice between sanity and insanity. This is also the same as choosing between living in the problem (step one) and living in the solution (step two) that we so often talk about in meetings.

     The anatomy of our powerlessness over alcohol is simple. The obsession guarantees us that we will have a moment of disproportionate thinking when we will decide to drink. The allergy makes it impossible for us to quit drinking once we have started. If we can't predict when we will start, because of the obsession, and if we can't predict when we will stop, because of the allergy, then we are powerless over alcohol.

     Obviously if we never started to drink we wouldn't have to worry about the allergy that makes us keep drinking once we started. So the whole crux of our alcoholism is in the time during which our obsession for alcohol is so strong it controls our mind. The time just before the first drink.

     Therefore the main focus of our study is the insanity of the first drink. It is here that insanity and powerlessness over alcohol are the same.

     The third benefit is that the more completely we accept the problem, our powerlessness over alcohol; the easier it is to accept a power outside ourselves as the solution. A knowledge and understanding of our "insanity" helps tremendously in accepting our powerlessness. First it helps because it limits our powerlessness to the time just before the first drink, not our everyday life and actions. Secondly since we are the ones who "learned" about our powerlessness and its dangers, we don't mistakenly think we are powerless over everything. To do so would help prevent a state of "learned helplessness" and thus prevent a quick and effective recovery. Also, the more knowledge we have of the problem the more completely we can effect a solution.

     The fourth benefit of understanding insanity is "knowing that we will not know." This sounds at first like a contradiction in terms but it is not. Perhaps the most difficult part of the denial system to penetrate in the alcoholic is the prized knowledge and judgment. A simple and sound explanation of "why we will not know" allows newcomers and old-timers alike to reach out for help in our recovery just as we would in other life situations where our knowledge was insufficient to complete a task of solve a problem in living.

     For example we have no problem calling an attorney if we need legal help. We have no problem going to an M.D. if we have physical problems. We have no problem calling an electrician, a plumber etc. This is what Bill meant when he said "we often show good judgment in other areas of our life."

     But when it comes to running our personal life we are reluctant to ask for help. This reluctance exists because we have been trained since childhood to be self-sufficient. Asking for help makes us feel we are weak. However this unwillingness can be easily overcome once we have a sound reason for asking for help that leaves us room for self respect. It allows us to more voluntarily make the decision to reach out for help. The more it is our decision to ask for help the more eagerly we take the actions necessary to recover. This brings us to step two.

     Step two is just the opposite of step one. Here we are talking about the solution. We are talking about more power. We are talking about sane or proportionate thinking. Having proportion in our thinking means that we can see clearly the losses that come from drinking as well as any temporary feeling of well-being that we may experience from the first few drinks. Being able to see both positive and negative factors in taking a drink means we can weigh each side and make a decision based on reason. We can use our sound reasoning because all the information for a good decision is available to our conscious mind. We can think in terms of which would we have the more lasting benefit. This is a return to sanity.

     In an ironic twist we now "know." But since this knowledge is the "knowing that we will not know" it promotes our dependence on God and Others. The entire nature of "knowing" is now changed from one of a self-centered, self obsessed nature of being totally self sufficient; of trying to out-think, out-work and out-manipulate our fellow man, to one of surrender and a willingness to accept help. As we accept the fact that "no man is an island" our defense mechanisms go down. We stop keeping others at arms length. We become teachable. We allow others to reach out to us in love and caring without fear of being rejected or slighted. It instantly places us in a position of being "a part of" instead of "apart from."

     Humility is "seeing ourselves in our proper relationship with God and our Fellow Man." When we become "a part of" we have made a good beginning in becoming humble people. This new balanced relationship with our fellow man is strangely similar to being able to see both pluses and minuses from drinking. We now see that we have faults that our fellows can help us with and that they have frailties with which we in turn can help them. Moreover we see that living a life of service to our fellows is the only real way we can be of service to God. So our answer lies in living in harmony with others as one among equals. Trusting and being trusted. Helping and being helped. Nurturing and being nurtured. Loving and being loved. Living and letting live.

     As we ask for advice and help in matters of increasing importance in our lives we begin to develop trust in other people. We come to see that others really do want the best for us, that the world is a warm supportive place, not a cold forbidding planet where we must fight for our existence.

     As we feel safer and safer we let go of our ego and have less to defend. We develop more and stronger ties of friendship as we share at increasingly deeper levels of personal intimacy. Now we can be more open with other people and the cycle of sharing and trust grows and grows. We have faith that others will love us and be supportive of us. We can relax and enjoy life. We are on the road to "being happy joyous and free."